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This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.

How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.

However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.