Start Androgynous men dating

Androgynous men dating

Additionally, conflating sexual function with sexual attraction can lead some men to erroneously rule out asexuality.

I went on my journey with open eyes, willing to embrace whatever it was that I discovered. All the things I’d done, all the things I thought, how I felt, it all made sense to me. Most men who may be asexual aren’t going to take that step. For most people, there’s straight, there’s gay, there’s bi, and that’s all.

They don’t know that there is that step to take, or they’re afraid of what they’ll find, or it just doesn’t bother them enough to start looking. They aren’t aware that there are other categories which might fit better.

By the time a man reaches the age where they’ve gathered enough life experience to decide that they’re just not all that interested in sex, they’re typically at a point where they can say “Well, I’m not 18 anymore, the hormones have died down” or “The fires of passion always die down after a few years, but I still love her”, or any number of other convenient excuses that obscure the truth. It took me a solid week-long journey of self-discovery to come to the conclusion that I wasn’t simply “straight, but not very good at it” and that I was, in fact, asexual.

“I’ve had sex, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t have been able to if I were asexual.” “I masturbate, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t do that if I were asexual.” “I like having my penis touched by someone else, therefore I’m not asexual, because I wouldn’t like it if I were asexual.” They’ll take events like those, join them to even the faintest glimmers of aesthetic or romantic attraction and use that as evidence to prove that they’re straight or gay or bi or pan or whatever, when in reality, all they’re experiencing is a physical reaction to stimulation.

In other words, I’ve got the factory-original male equipment and the male mind to go with it. Yes, among other things that would be considered “functioning”. I doubt most men are sexually attracted to the tight clothes that they’re wearing.

And “cisgender” as all those kooky kids and their crazy new-fangled words might call it. And by “functioning parts”, you mean that you can get erections, right? I hate to break it to you, but erections are not necessarily a sign of sexual attraction.

And there’s the irrational fear that if a man isn’t turned on by a woman then OMG HE MUST BE GAY, so he’ll force himself to believe that he’s attracted to women, even though he doesn’t feel anything in particular for men or women.

So, when he gets an erection and it’s not directed at anyone in particular, then maybe he just needs to sow his wild oats until he finds what does it for him.

I doubt most men are sexually attracted to bumpy roads.

I doubt most men are sexually attracted to waking up in the morning.

You’re either straight, gay, or bi, or something ain’t working right, or you’re really a woman trapped in a man’s body and are in denial. I exist, therefore your hypothesis has been refuted. Yet most men have probably gotten erections from wearing tight clothes, waking up in the morning, driving on bumpy roads, and randomly walking down the street. Sure, it can sometimes be caused by emotional stimuli, such as sexual attraction, but attraction is not a requirement. I don’t feel what people mean when they use the word “hot” to describe someone. So much of the stereotypical male identity is wrapped up in sexual prowess that it’s difficult to step back and admit that you don’t really fit in that world.